Book Reviews
Reading is good for you. Unless what you're reading is full of stupid. Being the helpful guy that I am, I will let you know which books are worth reading.
All the King's Men
Quite possibly the best book ever written. The plot is engrossing and unpredictable, the writing style is unique and entertaining, and there are some insightful bits of life knowledge sprinkled throughout.
Be prepared for a slow first chapter or two, followed by mind-blowing awesome. If you finish this book and don't rank it in your top two and a half books, you and I can't be friends anymore, and I say good day to you. If you start this book and don't finish it, you can probably still be my friend, but only the kind that I borrow things from and never return.
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
This is a book about a man's descent into madness, and his attempt to drag you down with him. Don't let him. Avoid this book.
If you don't believe me, read the first three chapters. When he starts talking about how gravity didn't exist until Newton invented it, you'll understand.
Count of Monte Cristo
Unabridged version if you're not a goddamn sissy.
Revenge is awesome. 1200 page books are awesome. What could be more awesome than combining the two? The answer is: not much. Add to that a badass main character and an intricate plot, and you've got yourself a book you must read.
While the writing is somewhat vanilla (understandable given that it's a translation (unless you speak French)), the plot more than makes up for it. You can tell that's the case because there have been multiple movies made about it. But don't fall for that trap - as usual, the movies don't live up to the book.
Blood Music
Very interesting read with an ambiguously nightmarish story. If you like crazy bizarre sci-fi, you need this book. If you don't, read it anyway and expand your mind, dumbass. Good plot with interesting and novel ideas. What are you waiting for?
Gulliver's Travels
Do you like made up words, nonsensical plots, and a rambling story that goes nowhere, while satirizing a society that you know or care little about? If so, this book will probably overwhelm even you.
This book is a classic. That means if you like this book, then you must be smart and cultured, so everyone keeps on pretending to like it. Incidentally, appearing smart and cultured is the only possible reason to read this book. If you've seen the made-for-TV movie, you might think the book will be a fascinating tale full of wacky and whimsical adventures. Unfortunately, Swift manages to detail the plot in the most dry and uninteresting way imaginable.